I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
