Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
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Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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