How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
