Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
