College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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