EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
either way he was missing a nipple.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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