So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
