I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
