pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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