Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
