mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
