i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
