just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
