I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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