Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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