theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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