We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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