I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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