i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
this hospital has no fireball
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize