Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
