She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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