Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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