There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize