he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize