look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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