So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
