No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
