absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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