if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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