Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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