shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
