took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize