I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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