Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
