Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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