my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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