Dual....:-)
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
