If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We got so high we made milksteak
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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