I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
