ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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