plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
