i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
