my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize