theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
