No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
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