So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize