She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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