I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
