Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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