sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
where am i from again
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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