I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
