Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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