Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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