Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
be right there i have to get my cape
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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