Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
