Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
