I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
