PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
