Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
