I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
